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Basics

What is your name? My name's Catarina.
What is your name’s origin and meaning, and how was it chosen? I don't know it's meaning nor origin, my parents just chose that name because they thought it was a good name for a girl... I guess.
Any nicknames? In kindergarten, my nickname was my first surname. Right now, my nickname at school is my last name. :P The first nickname was a little more embarrassing doe.
How tall are you? 1.60m or 5'3
Who do you live with or near, if anyone? I live with my parents and a canary.
Where is your residence and what is it like? It's in this little city with just the right amount of people, many buildings and lots of parks and trees here and there. It's kinda boring to me, but it's not that bad.
What is your hometown and local culture like? I guess it's Lisbon and we're know for being very helpful, a little full of ourselves and very nice people. We're obviously a lot more than that, since we're all so different. There's a lot of good ass food everywhere. People here tend to be party animals (it doesn't matter if you're young or old). There's a lot of variety when it comes to people's looks too. It's really interesting to see all these types of ethnicities and faces, eye colors, hair colors, skin tones... ^^
Who are your parents? They're retired now but they used to be pros at programming shit in this company. :P
Are you married, single, seeking a relationship, avoiding romance? Single.
What is your class/income level? Not too broke and not close to being rich.
What is your income source and/or occupation? Being an anxious egg. My parents still pay the food I eat everyday.
What is your education? I'm in what people call middle school? e.e idk... in one year I'm in high school doe.
What is your worldview/religion? What is your level of devotion to that philosophy? I'm an atheist. I don't really give a crap about any type of religion. I respect every religion as long as people don't shove their points of view on my face... And I do know that there's always a dumbass that labels themselves as something and makes everybody else that has that same mindset look bad. There's a girl in my class who is religious and is also one of the nicest people ever. She told me that she agreed with some things said in the Bible but not everything because we all have to think for ourselves and develop our own opinions. We can't agree and accept everything people tell us: "We can't be hating on people just because some old dude wrote that in the Bible. It's 2016, we have to learn from our mistakes and become better people so we can make this planet a better place." She really is super positive. ^^
What are your current life problems? Social anxiety, depression and loneliness.
Who (or what) are your enemies? Doubt and myself.
What are your priorities in life? Telling everyone the truth about myself and the way I feel without hesitating no matter where I am nor who I'm with.
What is your goal in life? What is your motivation for this goal? My goal is to be happy. My motivation is my actual best friend and all the peeps who seem to feel the way I feel about stuff and make me feel less alone without even realizing.

Mind

What is your central philosophy in life? Love and let love and fix yourself so you can help others get fixed.
What is your outlook on life? I look at it as a bunch of time that was given to you that you should use as wisely as possible by spending it next to people that are worth it, by doing what you love and by overall having a good time.
What do you wish would happen to you? I wish my looks would show who I am inside.
What do you want to hide? Nothing.
What languages do you know? Portuguese (Brazilian is basically the same thing too), English, a bit of French, random words in Spanish, random words in Italian.
What do you worry most about? About not being able to find people who make me feel worth it and dying alone without making any kind of positive impact on the planet... basically being forgotten.
What are your phobias? Water (kind of), having to jump from something that is very high, and looking at my own toes (this one started a few months ago)...
What are your insecurities? My looks, my personality, my social skills...
How is your self-confidence? Non-existent. :/
Do you like what you do for a living? If so, why? If not, what do you wish you could do instead? I go to school, and nope, I don't like it because it gives me panic attacks, I'm always extremely anxious during school days 24/7, I can't rest, I feel like shit 24/7, I feel more useless and alone everyday... I could go on forever. And I wish I was in an art school where nobody was left out and where everybody could express themselves however they wanted to. I wish I was in a place where I could somewhat relate to someone for once.
Where do you feel most at home? At my best friend's place. 
Who do you look up do? Too many Viners, Youtubers, Musicians and Artists in general. Also my bestie. xD
When and where were you the happiest? 2 years ago during a week with my aunt, my aunt's friend and her daughter on this apartment close to the beach. I would cry laugh every night with their jokes. I would have so much fun every single day. And so many things changed for the better about myself in that week. I did things I convinced myself I'd never do and I never did for 12 years... I did it all in a single week. ^^
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd like to stop caring about what others think of me... I'm already too self-aware, but I'd like to keep that.
How do you feel about showing your emotions? I need to do that more than ever.

Body

What kind of creature are you (elf, human, alien, etc)? I'm classified as a human being, I'd like to be an elf but I'm secretly a meme.
What are your abnormalities (deformity, birthmark, allergies)? Sometimes my knuckles don't crack when I try to crack them and that SUCKS ASS D: I don't have any allergies, I have bad posture.
What is your figure like (thin, muscular, pudgy)? Thin.
How fit are you? Kinda normal (I don't work out, I just walk a lot when I have to go to school, so my legs look good but my arms look skinny af) My body isn't really proporcional. :P
What is your hair and eye color? Dark brown hair and eyes.
What is your hair texture and style? My hair isn't straight nor g... curly. It's the biggest mess ever. It's annoying af. It's huge. I've been told that I look like a superhero with my hair down. It looks like SuperMan's cape flying around with the wind in the most awkward way possible.
What is your face shape and features (freckles, big eyes, zits, reddish cheeks, birthmark, etc.) I have a little bit of acne rn, I have a few moles, my eyes are huge, my nose looks huge from the side and it looks just like loish 's noses on the majority of her portraits, I never blush ever, I'm too pale, my eye bags are always there no matter how much sleep I get, my eyelashes are huge, I have kinda thick lips that are always chapped, I have very settle dimples, my cheekbones are fierce asf, my face is shaped as an egg (oval) and my jawline can't cut glass.
How old are you? 14 years old.
What kind of colors do you wear? Used to be only black but I'm trying to change that because I got a little bored.
What kind of clothing do you wear? Usually long sleeves to hide my kinda hairy arms, tight ripped pants, large sweaters that hide the fact that my arms look super skinny and converse black shoes.
What kind of clothing do you hate on yourself/others? I hate v-necks, skirts, shorts and dresses on myself. I always had a thing for buttons and buttoned up shirts on other people... it triggers my seizures. .-. I DON'T KNOW WHY.
What accessories do you frequently have? A tattoo choker, a necklace with a bullet on it and another necklace with a peace sign on it.
How do you feel about your appearance? I don't love it, but I've looked worse... I think.
What is your skin like (smooth, pale, dark, rough, tight, saggy, scarred, etc)? It's smooth and pale.
How is your health? Any problems? What was your health like as a child? My health is pretty stable. I never had many problems as a little kid. Just as a premature child during the first year of being alive or so, I had some problems.
What are your common movement habits and demeanor (swaying, graceful, snapping, wringing hands, staying perfectly still, glancing around, stumbling, etc)? Looking down, hiding my face behind my hands or hair, rolling my eyes, cracking my knuckles, shaking when anxious, peeling off the chapped skin on my lips... good times.
What is your race/ethnicity/nationality? I guess I'm white... and European? Portuguese? idfk.
What food do you usually eat (amount, kind of food, what times of day)? What food do you like to eat? I usually drink a cup of chocolate milk for breakfast, and then fruit, soup and fish or meat with a bunch of other stuff (rice, spaghetti, potatoes, broccoli, eggs...) for lunch and dinner. I like to eat Pizza from time to time, I love Doritos, I like tuna salad...
What do you like to drink? Iced Tea, Apple juice, Orange juice...
What is in your refrigerator? Soup, cheese, butter, milk, chocolate, fish, meat, eggs, iced tea, apple juice.
What do you smell like (cologne, sweat, musty, cats, etc)? Probably a mixture of sweat, tears, disappointments and anxiety. The sweat comes from the anxiety.
What would you change about yourself physically if you could? I'd make myself a little less thin or skinny, I'd like to be a little less pale, I'd make sure my hair was a little more straight or gay or something other than a cringe compilation, I'd like it black and my eyes could be any other color (blue, green...).
Fun fact: When I was a little kid my hair was black and so were my eyes. ^^


Past

When and where were you born? I was born in Lisbon, Portugal.
What are your past occupations and career goals? Didn't have those.
As a child, what did you want to be and do when you grew up? Did you do it? How do you feel about that? I wanted to be a veterinary. I now want to be an artist. I think that I lost interest in the scientific area because I eat meat and I think that it's kinda bad to eat animals when you're supposed to save them (i'll still become vegetarian once I get out of my parents' house) and also because science used to be super interesting and easy a few years ago (used to have good grades there), but now it became really fucking difficult to keep up with...
What are your greatest accomplishments? Probably sharing my points of view at school thanks to my sketch books and presentations. My classmates and teachers kinda get to know me by looking at my stuff. I take advantage of class projects to point out my opinions. I guess I found a way to get attention and to be heard there. Still feel horribly lonely and miserable doe. Every fucking day.
What are your greatest failures? Existing. xD
What is the worst thing that ever happened to you? Not being able to believe in myself.
What is the best thing that ever happened to you, or your most cherished memory? Starting to speak for myself for the first time in forever.
What do you regret? Overthinking everything and not doing many things because of my self-doubt.
What do you remember most about your childhood? Not being able to express myself and feeling stuck.
What was your favorite thing to do as a child? Being alone.
What did you dislike most as a child? Myself.

Personality

What are your vices? The Internet, drawing and not showering.
What are your virtues? Self-awareness, never losing hope, dreaming big.
What is your typical attitude? Hiding and then hating on myself.
What are your quirks (only eats raw meat, collects action figures, always wears rubber band on wrist, etc)? Being too lazy to brush my hair and to take a shower and to get my life together.
What are your hobbies? Drawing, playing videogames, watching youtube videos...
What would make you smile? People who legit like me and decide to show it and making other people smile.
What would make you laugh? Memes, Vines, Youtube videos, Stand up comedy... good jokes I guess.
What would make you cry? People being hated on and hurt because of the way they are.
What makes you calm down? Drawing and listening to music.
What makes you revved up? Concerts.
What do you do when you are happy? I go do something that I wouldn't do otherwise (go out for example).
What do you do when you are stressed? I pretend I'm fine, I try to convince myself that I'm fine and I watch funny youtube videos with the purpose of making myself calm down and laugh, but instead, I just keep on counting the minutes I have before going to school, I keep on looking at the mirror and getting upset because I think I look horrible and in my head there's no time to fix myself (even if I have 3 hours before school) and I end up crying because of this overwhelming cycle of thoughts that follows me everywhere and never gives me a break. I'm just a ball of self-hatred, followed by frustration, followed by doubt and overthinking stuff to the point where I can't feel anything but anxiety and crippling depression. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!
What do you do when you are upset? If I'm at home, I hide inside the bathroom and cry my eyes out. If I'm in public, I hold the tears in the best I can (i remember walking home after a day of school and trying to hide my face because the "hold the tears" method wasn't working... ah! good times).
What do you do when you are angry? I either hide it, or say everything out loud for everybody to hear. When I'm really mad, I don't really think about what others think of me, so I just say whatever. So far, those little "explosions", have been helpful.
What are your habits (good or bad)? I don't shower as regularly as I should (i don't go out, i don't socialize, i don't do shit) and I still can't eat soup that isn't completely liquid (with the actually spinach laying around) because it makes me gag and consider suicide at the same time. It's really bad.
What is something you can’t resist? I can't help but roast someone if they're being rude or treating someone badly. It's a trigger.
What is something most people do not know about you? That I can smile, that I have teeth and that I can be obnoxious and loud from time to time (not proud of that).
What are your areas of expertise? Causing bad first impressions.
What is hard for you to do? Being myself around everybody and not feeling like a piece of shit 24/7.
What special skills do you have? I can cry for a long time. My record is 20 minutes.
What weather and physical conditions do you like? I like blue skies, somewhat hot weather and a bit of wind.
What would you do all day if you could do anything you wanted? I'd go visit the high school I'm going to with my best friend. It's basically tumblr goals! I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING! at least the good part of tumblr...

Relationships

Who would you ask for help in a tight spot? First of all my parents (i don't want to but I end up asking them for help without even realizing) ._. And my BFF (Biggest Fail Forreal)
Who’s company do you enjoy? My friend's.
How often do you see family and friends? My "family" is kinda living with me and I only see one of my friends (I have two of those) every 3 weeks or so.
How do you interact with other people (cold, awkward, friendly)? I'm mostly awkward but I'm really extroverted with friends of friends (I get a little annoying) and I'm super weird with actual friends. With my mother I'm kinda cold sometimes and I'm friendly with my father. The goal is to be friendly with everyone, but it never works out.
Who is your family and what are they like? The family I got stuck with? They might have been good people before I was born, but right now... my mom is the crappiest person towards me and my father, my father is always trying to joke around and ends up being an ass towards me when I try to defend him when my mom is trying to fight with him, two of my grandparents have health issues and use that as an excuse to never argue with them because who knows, they might die on us if we ask them what's wrong in a weird tone, my other grandma is all about that "god hates fags" epidemic, my aunt understands me for the most part and treats me like ebola when I tell her that I like a song that is mainstream right now... ^^ I LOVE LIFE!
How do you feel about your parents and how do they feel about you? What is your relationship with your family like? It's all been answered.
What is the person you are most dependent on (your dad, the welfare office, your personal maid, your seeing-eye-dog, your mailman)? My parents. e.e' and I hate that.
If you could convince any one person or group of people of one thing, what would that be? That we should all create good things together and support each other no matter what.
What is the main quality or aspect you look for in a person (good looking, is talkative, seems helpful, has money, etc.)? Open-mind, honesty, sense of humor and sensitivity.
How does your race/ethnicity/nationality or that of your parents influence you and the way people see you? Is your heritage significant to you or are you removed from it? I don't care about anyone's race. I never did. When I was a kid, racism didn't exist to me and I never questioned it. I never cared about people's skin color and I still don't. I had friends of all ethnicities in kindergarten and I never gave a single shit about that. Right now I only have two friends because nobody else wants to put up with my shit apparently.
What is something people often misunderstand about you? People probably think I'm a boring blank canvas when I'm everything but that.
Can people get the gist of who you are when first meeting you, or is your true self so hidden we would need to know you for a long time? Or somewhere in between? Somewhere in between. If I feel comfortable around you when first meeting you, then in a few days, you'll know me better than most people 'cause I'll open up a lot more easily. If I feel uncomfortable around you once I meet you, then you'll need quite a lot of time to get to know me. People usually give up on me. I understand.
Who and/or what sort of people like you? Extroverted and overall open minded people tend to like me (usually).
How do you feel about other people’s worldview/religions? I think they're all valid and important as long as they're not used as an excuse to be an asshole.
How do most people see you? They probably see me as someone who has opinions about everything, who is shy and quiet and is also cringy asf.
What kind of friends and associates do you have, if any? One of my friends used to be really sociable, but now they're super reserved and still a cheerful and funny person. This other friend of mine was always funny and extroverted but I don't see him in a long time, so I don't really know what he's like rn.
What person or group of people do you dislike the most, and why? People who treat others like shit and people who are too full of themselves. Because they don't seem to realize how sad they really are and they really manage to ruin people's lives without realizing.
Are you dominant, submissive, or somewhere in between? Somewhere in between.
What is your reputation? Sad pigeon.
How do you greet people (if you greet people at all)? I say "hello". e.e
How do you feel about and treat authority? I think they're just like me and everybody else in this planet. They're not superior in any way, and if they feel that way, that's their fucking problem. I treat everybody nicely and I expect the same treatment. And I'm not settling down if someone hurts me in any way. I don't accept that. Never did.

Speech

How do you speak (speak loudly, quickly, whispering, interrupting, talkative, etc)? I speak a bit quickly and almost whispering when I'm uncomfortable around someone. I'm talkative and I speak louder when I'm on my natural habitat.
Are you dominant or easily unnoticed in a conversation, or somewhere in between? Easily unnoticed in a conversation, specially at school.
What words and phrases do you use frequently (omg, dude, like, um, for pete’s sakes,)? omg, dude and wtf xD I use that when I'm speaking portuguese.
What expletives do you use in surprise or irritation (swears, gasps, yowza, etc)? Swears. In english. xD
Do you speak properly or often use slang and bad grammar? I speak properly.
Does your speaking style change when you’re around certain people? If so, how? Yep. Because I feel comfortable around very few people.
What is your accent or dialect? idfk
What is your pitch and voice texture? It's not too high, not too low. It's kinda soft usually. Changes a lot, depending on how anxious I am too...

Situations

What are the five worst things possible to happen to you? Getting disfigured, and death. 
How would you prepare for a hot date? By figuring out an excuse to not attend it.
How would you tackle a big research project? By doing everything at night before the deadline obviously.
How would you react in a fight? I'd try to talk it out or walk away.
What do you do when you’re bored (go crazy, tap your fingers, hum)? I fall asleep or consider suicide.
What are you or would you be embarrassed about? Myself.
What is the first thing you do every morning (go for a jog, check your phone, take a pill, check your own pulse, etc)? I open my laptop and check my notifications on DeviantArt xD
What would you do with 5 million dollars? I'd buy clothes that I like, videogames and I'd get a cat.
If you could teleport anywhere, where would you go (Hawaii, your mom’s house, the theatre, that old barn you used to play in, etc)? I'd go to Toronto.
What is your favorite holiday and how do you celebrate it? It's Christmas. I usually celebrate it with my "family". We eat, argue and open presents.
What are your holiday traditions? Watching Shrek's Christmas special that appears on TV every year.
What do you spend most of your day doing? Wasting my time.
How do you want to die (suddenly, alone, with a certain person near you, etc.)? Happy.
What is the worst you’ve ever been injured or sick (broken arm, cancer, hang nail)? Broken wrist and a thing got in my eyeball and I couldn't get it out so I almost went blind once. e.e

Objects

What object(s) do you like to keep near you? Phone.
What is in your backpack, purse, or closet? Backpack: useless school books. Purse: 5€ and my phone. Closet: clothes that don't fit me anymore.
If there was a fire in your house and you only had time to grab whatever you could carry, what would it be? My canary, my laptop, my phone and my copic's markers. xD
What is your most valued possession (for a reason other than monetary value)? My drawings and my concert tickets.
Do you still have any possessions from your childhood? I have all my clothes and toys.

Random

How well do/did you do in school? I have really good grades but I'm always alone there.
What is your symbol? The WiFi symbol.
What is your desktop/cell phone wallpaper (or, if you had one what would it be)? Desktop: Life Is Strange wallpaper. Cell phone: Scott and Mitch from Pentatonix.
What does your signature look like? It looks normal.
What is your theme song? Bird Set Free by Sia
What are your most used bookmarks on your web browser? Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, DeviantArt, Twitter...
What is something that really annoys you (loud people, music that is too quite, when your mom vacuums at three in the morning, the sound of trickling water)? Discovery's shows with the volume on maximum at 10am... thanks dad!
What is the place you hate the worst (standing in line at McDonalds, the salon, Toledo Ohio, etc.)? Places with a lot of people and no fans.
What is your favorite kind of entertainment and what type of content do you like (books, movies, comics, romance, sci-fi, humor)? I guess, any kind of comic book, story based videogame and anime. :P I can't decide.
What is you favorite celebrity or historical figure? I just have favorite "celebrities" xD Ellen Page, Mitch Grassi, Ruby Rose, Poods... They're all very awesome people from what I can tell. :)
Who are your most recent emails/calls/texts from and what did they say? Emails: Just Spotify adverts. Calls: From my friend. Texts: Me and my friend saying pointless shit. xD
What were you doing before this story started? I was watching youtube vids... e.e'
What time period do you wish you lived in? Past, future? Future or just this time period.
If you were and animal, what kind would you be? I'd be an alpaca. 
Do you have any special powers? If so, what are they, how do they work, and where do they come from? I can get easily forgotten. I just have to say "Hi" to someone and then hate myself internally so I don't have the courage to say anything else... and the conversation ends there. And then I kinda stop saying "Hi" to people too...
Do you or have you ever had any pets? Yes. I had 3 fishes, an hamster, a guinea pig, a turtle and now I have a canary.
Do you dislike any holidays? If so, why? Not really. I don't care. I just care about the school breaks.
What is your most common method of transportation? The car.
What are your three favorite songs? I can't chooooose. Something by The Zolas and Twenty One Pilots and Pentatonix and Green Day... idk
And finally... the most important question of all....What is your favorite color (and why)? It's black. Because it's the only color of clothing that could actually look good on me and not make me stand out too much in public. Sometimes I stand out anyways because all I wear is black. People look at me like I'm an alien. It's great.
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August 13, 2016
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